If you’ve ever dreamed of owning a horse who looks like a warmblood, moves like a warmblood, and behaves like a man who retired at 35 after inventing Post-It notes… congratulations. Boozey is now accepting applicants.

🍹 THE BOOZEY EXPERIENCE™

This horse got off the track, looked around, and immediately entered his “I only do yoga and farmer’s markets now” era.

On his third ride off the track, we took him to a chaotic Hunter Pace filled with children, dogs, questionable jumps, and husbands who didn’t want to be there — and Boozey jumped XC like he was being filmed for a documentary on athletic excellence.

Green but bold.
Sensitive but soft.
Forward but not feral.
A perfect overachiever.

He INSISTS he is a warmblood, and we don’t have the heart to tell him he’s not.

🧼 DISCLAIMER ABOUT HIS EPIDERMIS

If it rains within a 40-mile radius, Boozey will get fungus.
He is a sensitive-skinned king.
He moisturizes. Respect that.

🦵 LEG REPORT FOR THE DISCERNING ADULT AMMY

• Has a small, mild ossification on the LF

• Not career limiting, vetted fine

• Otherwise clean-legged like a horse trying out for a conformation class

• UTD on literally everything (farrier, dentist, vaccines, dewormer, taxes… probably)

🌟 FEATURES INCLUDED

• 16.3hh warmblood-size Thoroughbred illusionist

• Moves like he gets paid per stride

• XC boldness level: “I saw it once, therefore I’m qualified”

• Super soft mouth; the kind of ride dressage trainers write sonnets about

• No buck. No bolt. No rear. No nonsense.

• Loads like he’s headed to brunch

• Mature-minded 5yo who LOVES a routine

• Forward ride but ammy-friendly if you like a little gas

• Big, chaotic, lovable personality

🧃 WHO SHOULD BUY HIM

You want a horse that:
• Has “golden retriever but with mileage goals” energy
• Makes you laugh every day
• Will happily cart you around XC as if it’s his calling
• Comes with exactly one manageable quirk (his skincare routine)

• If you want a bold, funny, athletic, soft-as-butter gelding who acts like he’s on a permanent spa retreat…

Boozey is your man.